Monday, May 2, 2011

State of Linda Weekly Address

My fellow humans - thank you for reading this! lol :) I am a mass of conflicting emotions today, and I want to subject you all to some of it. lol So enjoy this glimpse into the goings-on of my little brain!

I want to keep blogging more. I really think it helps me to get some of my thoughts and feelings out into the interwebs, so it's not all bottled up inside. I want to work on sharing my successes and slip-ups with you all more, so my progress and struggles can be seen and shared. I know I'm not the only one who thinks like I do, feels like I do, reacts like I do. I'm the only one who does all of those at the same time lol, but I know others can sympathize with me, and that's what I want. I want to share, in the hopes of others gaining something from hearing me or letting themselves open up to me because I shared. I want to get back to meaningful conversations about anything and everything, big and small. :) And this is one way to start that!

First, let's start with food. I've been having such a battle with food. But, I do feel that I'm making progress. I go back and forth between deciding if I want to count calories or not..and right now I'm at a no. Counting is just not something I'm going to do all my life, and if I'm going to make changes to better my life and my health, it needs to be for the long haul. But I am going to continue to watch what I eat, and work to get more protein and better fats and complex carbs, and less simple carbs and sugar. I was bad last night...went to an Aldi store to see what they had, and found a stack of Cadbury creme eggs that amazingly weren't gone I kind of went a little overboard. But man, it was so tasty. :) This week I've got some good salads for lunch, some mixed nuts for a snack, and some yogurt and breakfast sandwich stuff for, well, breakfast. lol And I found a cool bag of frozen fruit that's got mangoes, papayas, pineapple, and strawberries that should hopefully be good. More fruit and veggies and less soda and sugar, that's my overall goal for the month! And better breads. :) Which is why I'm sticking to my salads....keeps me away from bread I don't really need. lol

I am happy to report that I'm doing better with healing my scabs though! I've been putting neosporin on the ones on my face all weekend, and they're really starting to scab a little less and not bleed when I do pick them, which is awesome. I've been putting some neosporin on the scabs on my arms as well, and they're getting a bit better...some better than others. But hopefully, if I can stick with it, my scabs will be pretty much gone in another week or two. :) And that will definitely be a good thing! The hardest part for me right now is that my skin itches around them while they're healing...and the scratching typically leads to picking. I also notice I tend to mess with them when I'm bored or thinking I'm mostly hoping that if I can just keep putting medicine on them they'll naturally go away to a point where I just don't have anything to pick. It's probably my best bet, at least for now.

Things with Jon have been pretty great lately. :) I can't really pinpoint exactly what it is...but the past few weeks have just felt good together. I know Jon's feeling better from working out and eating more and working some...just moving and being productive. And I know I've been feeling a little bit better from stating my desires at work and working on my insecurities. We still butt heads, but that's something we'll always I think we're starting to be able to tell the difference between when we're serious and bothered and when we're just messing with each other. Or maybe we're just learning when to drop something and when not to. lol All I know for sure is, I do love that man a whole bunch. :) And I really love that I'm feeling more of the strong emotions for him that I had when we were just starting out together 3 1/2 years ago. :) He just makes me feel so safe and pretty. :) And I hope I give him good feelings as well!

What I'm looking forward to the least over the next month or two is that we're going to have to move again. :( And farther north, too...more towards Denton. It will be better to be close enough to work for both of us that we can both be home at night together...right now Jon has to basically go work for a few days and then be home for a few days, and we want to make it so that we can both work and be home every day. But it's going to seriously suck being farther away from work again and having to deal with traffic and construction on highways and longer driving times again. I was so ready to not have to think about moving again, to not have to look at places and check rent prices and think about packing and getting everything sucks. But especially with the break-in, and wanting Jon to be able to be home every night, it's a necessary evil right now. I'm really praying we'll find something that can work well for both of us and keep us in a happy spot for more than a year!

Please pray for me, friends. Pray that my job offer idea will pan out and work well....the owner will be reading through my proposal in the next few days, so I'm going to need all the help I can get to make sure it goes through and can start being put into action. It won't happen at a snap for sure, and that's not what I want...but I'm going to be nervous until I know whether or not it's even an option down the road. I really, really want it to be. Pray also that our apartment search will lead us to something really fitting and perfect for us to stay in for awhile. Pray that our hearts will continue to grow closer together and more full on their own as well. And please let me know anything I can pray for you on, or think about you for. I do really miss having close friends I can talk to about anything all the time with...I know you're still out there! :) Share with me! Anything you want to, happy or sad, doesn't matter. Let me be a friend to you, even if it's mostly virtual right now. I want to listen to you. :) Lots of love, friends!

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