Monday, May 23, 2011

Deja Vu...the good kind

Today I want to talk about Jon. :) A few things keep running through my mind, and I really want to share them with you all. So I am! :)

Let's start with Saturday. Such an interesting day. We went out to scout for a new apartment...didn't look at the one I'd written down since it didn't seem to be in the best place, but we got some names of complexes that looked like we'd want to stay there, so I'll be checking out stats on those this week. :) As much as I'm not looking forward to a long commute again and all the traffic...I can't wait to be able to see my man most every night of the week instead of only Fri-Sun. And I'm going to be closer to my girls Megan and Jeri, which I'm hoping means more fun times with them!

We also did a little scouting for a mini fun photo shoot I've got coming up with my girl Steph and her new man Jason. He's got a Cap'n Sparrow outfit, and we're going to have some fun with some photos. :) I'm excited, so I'm going to have to work hard to keep my nerves from getting in my way and screwing me up! lol I've got the general ideas forming and just found out I'll have an extra week to prepare, so hopefully it'll all go smoothly and we'll get some seriously fun pictures from it. :)

We then got the new Playstation Move Heroes game, which I'd swear was meant for me. lol The main characters you can play as are 3 duos from 3 of my favorite games - Ratchet and Clank, Sly Cooper (and Bentley), and Jak and Daxter! It's just a little party type game, where you play through different levels to get the gold medal and such - but it's been really fun so far. :) And now we have a game we can play together!

Then we come to the funny part of Saturday lol...we'd turned the oven on to preheat for a pizza, then went to lay down so I could give Jon a back massage. (Side note: my man has been doing so well with working out and taking care of himself! He's pushing hard, which makes him super sore on his off days lol, but he's doing so well - very proud girlfriend right here.) He's developing some new muscles in his back, and so he'd been saying all day how bad it hurt - back massage seemed like the right choice! lol So then, of course, he asks me for a happy ending lol! And so we start messing around a little, until...smoke detectors go off!! What the?? lol We turn around and yep, the living room sure looks smokey...Jon runs into the kitchen and we realize that there was a tray in the oven with some oil on it that we didn't realize had been left in there, and the oil had burned. So no fire, thank goodness...just lots of smoke! So there we are, me with a bath towel and Jon with the pizza box, waving smoke away from the detectors and out the windows we'd just opened lol....it was like a scene from a comedy. We couldn't stop laughing. :) It was definitely time for pizza instead of messing around! lol

Which brings me to the other thing I've been wanting to write about...moments like the smoke detectors going off. Are there moments in your life where you feel like you're living a movie? Or even better, feel like you're living a daydream you had once? More and more often lately, I've been getting this deja vu feeling with Jon. And I freaking love it. :) Picture perfect moments...times when I suddenly feel like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, and I'm with my perfect man. I know it sounds totally cheesy and overly girlish, maybe. But it's so very true. These moments seem to come to me more often when we're fooling around some...something in the way he touches me and looks at me just makes me feel like I'm living a dream. Like I'm living through a moment that I'd almost swear I've been through before, in another life, or a dream life. Like somehow my random little fantasies throughout my life of my perfect dream man are starting to slowly yet surely come into my real life. :) I tell ya, it's sort of surreal sometimes! But I freaking love it. :)

Well, I guess this is all I feel like sharing for now. I have a different vision for how my blog will look and feel someday...but the time to really do it the way I'd like isn't here just yet. My work has given me the go ahead to take on some more responsibility...which I'm actually pretty excited for because it's very much needed and makes me feel like I'm really contributing and not simply a phone answerer/place holder. However, with no computer or internet at home right now, I've only got so many hours in a day that I can do work and personal things on a computer. It's frustrating to no end...but I know it'll get better eventually. Somehow we'll be able to work out a computer we can use...I've got an old laptop from a friend but it doesn't work just yet, and I'm not sure when Jon'll have the time to spend on it to get it working...work might be able to help but maybe not until the end of the summer...so it's going to be a long few months where I can't fit in everything I want to do in the timeline I'd like to do it. But that won't stop me from trying. :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

State of Linda Weekly Address

My fellow humans - thank you for reading this! lol :) I am a mass of conflicting emotions today, and I want to subject you all to some of it. lol So enjoy this glimpse into the goings-on of my little brain!

I want to keep blogging more. I really think it helps me to get some of my thoughts and feelings out into the interwebs, so it's not all bottled up inside. I want to work on sharing my successes and slip-ups with you all more, so my progress and struggles can be seen and shared. I know I'm not the only one who thinks like I do, feels like I do, reacts like I do. I'm the only one who does all of those at the same time lol, but I know others can sympathize with me, and that's what I want. I want to share, in the hopes of others gaining something from hearing me or letting themselves open up to me because I shared. I want to get back to meaningful conversations about anything and everything, big and small. :) And this is one way to start that!

First, let's start with food. I've been having such a battle with food. But, I do feel that I'm making progress. I go back and forth between deciding if I want to count calories or not..and right now I'm at a no. Counting is just not something I'm going to do all my life, and if I'm going to make changes to better my life and my health, it needs to be for the long haul. But I am going to continue to watch what I eat, and work to get more protein and better fats and complex carbs, and less simple carbs and sugar. I was bad last night...went to an Aldi store to see what they had, and found a stack of Cadbury creme eggs that amazingly weren't gone yet...so I kind of went a little overboard. But man, it was so tasty. :) This week I've got some good salads for lunch, some mixed nuts for a snack, and some yogurt and breakfast sandwich stuff for, well, breakfast. lol And I found a cool bag of frozen fruit that's got mangoes, papayas, pineapple, and strawberries that should hopefully be good. More fruit and veggies and less soda and sugar, that's my overall goal for the month! And better breads. :) Which is why I'm sticking to my salads....keeps me away from bread I don't really need. lol

I am happy to report that I'm doing better with healing my scabs though! I've been putting neosporin on the ones on my face all weekend, and they're really starting to scab a little less and not bleed when I do pick them, which is awesome. I've been putting some neosporin on the scabs on my arms as well, and they're getting a bit better...some better than others. But hopefully, if I can stick with it, my scabs will be pretty much gone in another week or two. :) And that will definitely be a good thing! The hardest part for me right now is that my skin itches around them while they're healing...and the scratching typically leads to picking. I also notice I tend to mess with them when I'm bored or thinking hard...so I'm mostly hoping that if I can just keep putting medicine on them they'll naturally go away to a point where I just don't have anything to pick. It's probably my best bet, at least for now.

Things with Jon have been pretty great lately. :) I can't really pinpoint exactly what it is...but the past few weeks have just felt good together. I know Jon's feeling better from working out and eating more and working some...just moving and being productive. And I know I've been feeling a little bit better from stating my desires at work and working on my insecurities. We still butt heads, but that's something we'll always do...now I think we're starting to be able to tell the difference between when we're serious and bothered and when we're just messing with each other. Or maybe we're just learning when to drop something and when not to. lol All I know for sure is, I do love that man a whole bunch. :) And I really love that I'm feeling more of the strong emotions for him that I had when we were just starting out together 3 1/2 years ago. :) He just makes me feel so safe and pretty. :) And I hope I give him good feelings as well!

What I'm looking forward to the least over the next month or two is that we're going to have to move again. :( And farther north, too...more towards Denton. It will be better to be close enough to work for both of us that we can both be home at night together...right now Jon has to basically go work for a few days and then be home for a few days, and we want to make it so that we can both work and be home every day. But it's going to seriously suck being farther away from work again and having to deal with traffic and construction on highways and longer driving times again. I was so ready to not have to think about moving again, to not have to look at places and check rent prices and think about packing and getting everything relocated...it sucks. But especially with the break-in, and wanting Jon to be able to be home every night, it's a necessary evil right now. I'm really praying we'll find something that can work well for both of us and keep us in a happy spot for more than a year!

Please pray for me, friends. Pray that my job offer idea will pan out and work well....the owner will be reading through my proposal in the next few days, so I'm going to need all the help I can get to make sure it goes through and can start being put into action. It won't happen at a snap for sure, and that's not what I want...but I'm going to be nervous until I know whether or not it's even an option down the road. I really, really want it to be. Pray also that our apartment search will lead us to something really fitting and perfect for us to stay in for awhile. Pray that our hearts will continue to grow closer together and more full on their own as well. And please let me know anything I can pray for you on, or think about you for. I do really miss having close friends I can talk to about anything all the time with...I know you're still out there! :) Share with me! Anything you want to, happy or sad, doesn't matter. Let me be a friend to you, even if it's mostly virtual right now. I want to listen to you. :) Lots of love, friends!